


not how cousins work

by politicalmedievalistnerd



Series: 400/200/200 Challenge [16]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Mean Girls (2004)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Cousin Incest (mentioned), Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Double Drabble, Drabble, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-12 02:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20130154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/politicalmedievalistnerd/pseuds/politicalmedievalistnerd
Summary: Hugo is adopted by the Plastics as a coach for getting his cousins. Karen has some misconceptions.





	not how cousins work

“That’s not how cousins work,” Hugo said mildly. “Believe me, I know how cousins work. I have ten.”

“You don’t kiss your cousins?” Karen asked, distracted, adjusting her skirt in the mirror. The lump in his throat wouldn’t budge. It was still the  _ girls’  _ bathrooms, whatever was said about Hugo being ‘probably gay’ and ‘an innocent fly’. He wondered, were his family not James and Fred and Louis, if they would be so kind to him. 

“No. That’s like, so wrong,” Gretchen butted in. Hugo nodded in agreement.

“Very wrong,” he said. “Did you - is he the only cousin you’ve kissed?” Karen sighed, and ran her sparkly gloss over her lips.

“Yeah,” she said, almost disappointed. “So you can’t tell us if Fred is a good kisser?” Hugo wrinkled his nose.

“I can’t. I’m not gay,” he added, tapping his thumbs against his pants. Not that it mattered to  _ him  _ if he was gay or not, but those girls were the sort to care. “Or incestuous.”

“Huh?” Gretchen and Karen said together. They were three years above him. Not for the first time, Hugo reflected on the fact that Hogwarts lacked English classes.

“They’ll love you, don’t worry. Let’s go.”


End file.
